Leeds United used to be a big club – not in the same way that Big Daddy used to be a big wrestler, more in the way that Captain Scarlett used to be a big part of teatime TV. Everybody knew about Leeds – just like everyone knew that Captain Scarlett was indestructible.
Times change and, in truth, they haven’t changed for the better in the unofficial capital of the People’s Republic of Yorkshire. Really, they should change the name of the football club. These days Leeds Used-To-Be , or even Leeds United nil are a lot more meaningful than the idea that Yorkshire’s noisiest supporters are in any way really marching anywhere together. Most days they can’t even decide who their manager is.
Most of the multitude who used to cram into Elland Road now spend their weekends trawling through old YouTube footage of the good old days. But you have to go a long way back in time to beat footage of a fat man in a swimsuit and a top hat and a splash of Supermarionation on a Saturday teatime.
Here are ten things to remind you that Leeds was once a big club.
1 They used to boast that ‘no-one likes us & we don’t care’. Today it’s simpler than that – no one cares. They could put that on a t-shirt but, you know what…? No one’s interested.
2 Saturday nights in Leeds used to be a tribal frenzy with an intravenous connection to what had happened to the football club earlier in the day. A win would guarantee a party atmosphere, a draw would make for a bore and a rare defeat would have out of towners hiding under their seats. If you venture forth onto the sleek streets of Leeds on Saturday night these days the closest you’ll get to that sort of pent up passion is if someone runs out of prosecco. Football is off the menu.
3 Once upon a time Leeds players were famous the length and breadth of the land. Names like Bremner and Lorimer, Hunter and Clarke would make grown men groan. A home date with Leeds was a Grey letter day – one to look forward to with a glum sense of police overtime, extra staff put on at A & E and an away win ticked off on the coupon. Nobody knows who plays there now. They are the club that fear forgot.
4 There was a time when what happened at Leeds was front page news. Revie and Clough were the talk of the telly. Billy Bremner’s 1974 sending off in the Charity Shield – in the presence of Royalty no less – was a national disgrace. Now it’s a shock if they make the back page with a number bigger than zero next to their name.
5 Not so long ago talent scouts would hover acquisitively around Elland Road. Under the ridiculous regime of Peter ‘live the dream’ Ridsdale, talent was tanked with no expense spared – and then allowed to move on for not much more than a song. Even the goldfish cost a king’s ransom. Alex Ferguson was amongst those who knew what was what. A couple of cute calls and Eric Cantona was shipped across the Pennines – for not much more than the small change down the back of an Old Trafford Sofa. How he must have laughed. The scouts go elsewhere these days.
6 The price of goldfish in Leeds pet shops is now the same as it is everywhere else.
7 Direct football is dead. Howard Wilkinson was the last Leeds manager to enjoy any sort of serious success and in the process he just about killed the beautiful game. Hoofing the ball up to a gangling great centre forward is now seen as football’s equivalent of rubbing two sticks together to make fire. Happily, Sergeant Wilko’s one dimensional wonders of the early ’90s were the last of their line. Long may it last.
8 They used to talk of eras at Elland Road: Wilko and Revie, John Charles and the good old days. But times and timeframes change. They get a new manager the way the rest of us get a new picture on our calendars these days – thirty days hath April, September, June, November and Uwe Rosler.
9 When social scientists conduct surveys about white clad sporting giants of the ’70s and ’80s, Ian Botham, David Bryant and Big Daddy score higher than the Leeds United – or at least they do everywhere that doesn’t have a Leeds postcode. And everyone loved Big Daddy.
10 They built a great yawning stadium at Elland Road to accommodate the crowds – but now the crowds don’t come. Tiers of seats are covered up, unused and eerily silent – indestructible as Captain Scarlett, and all too sadly, slightly less true to life.
Maybe one day Leeds United will once again emerge as powerful footballing force to be reckoned with, maybe.
If you have fond memories of Leeds’ past glory days that you’d like to share – we’d love to hear from you.
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